Stop Dating the Church!

Josh Harris has written a couple of books that deal with the dating relationship (or maybe better, difficulties with dating). His most recent book draws analogies of dating and marriage to the church. He writes that too many people in our society look at the Church as a dating relationship, rather than a committed relationship. They are more interested in what they can get out of it for themselves, rather than a commitment to the Bride of Christ.

It is important to be reminded of the priority of the church. It is the church which is the "pillar and support of truth" (1 Tim. 3:15). It is through the church that Christ has determined to make disciples. It is the church that is to show what it means to be a community of people, regardless of backgrounds, as we live in a fragmented society.

Harris writes that "becoming a church member gives you specific accountability, care, encouragement, and leadership" (p. 67). It also means that one builds his or her life around the church and makes it a priority, rather than the church being secondary with life flowing around it.

Harris also points out that the fastest way to feel a sense of ownership in your church and to build relationships is serving (p. 72). The church means "doing life" with other Christians and building relationships that extend beyond the church gathered.

Harris then lists 10 Important Questions to determine what kind of church with which to identify:

1. Is this a church where God's Word is faithfully taught?
2. Is this a church where sound doctrine matters?
3. Is this a church in which the gospel is cherished and clearly proclaimed?
4. Is this a church committed to reaching non-Christians with the gospel?
5. Is this a church whose leaders are characterized by humility and integrity?
6. Is this a church where people strive to live by God's Word?
7. Is this a church where I can find and cultivate godly relationships?
8. Is this a church where members are challenged to serve?
9. Is this a church that is willing to kick me out? (interesting!)
10. Is this a church I'm willing to join 'as is' with enthusiasm and faith in God?

In chapter 6 entitled "Rescuing Sunday: How to Get More from the Best Day of the Week," Harris points out that it is important to start preparing for Sunday on Saturday.

"The real burden of responsibility on Sunday morning is not on the preacher to perform, but on the congregation to listen" (p. 112). [I might rephrase it, "the most important responsibility is how the congregation performs before God whom they have come to worship" - djp]

Chapter Titles:
1. Can This Relationship Be Saved? What we miss when we date the church
2. He still Calls Her His Bride: Seeing the Church from Heaven's perspective
3. Why we really need the local church: Thinking globally, loving locally
4. Join the Club: What passion in actions looks like
5. Choosing your Church: The ten things that matter most
6. Rescuing Sunday: How to get more from the best day of the week
7. The Dearest place on Earth: It's Time to say Yes.